Sorry I’m Late I Saw a Dog Polyester Blanket

Prepare to cocoon yourself in sarcasm and softness. This ultra-soft polyester blanket is basically your emotional support companion—whether you’re dodging responsibilities, binge-watching a questionable reality show, or simply avoiding the outdoors like the highly evolved homebody you are. Bonus: it’s absorbent enough to handle your “just spilled wine while laughing at my own jokes” emergencies.

Key Features:

• Material Mix for Maximum Snuggle: 95% polyester, 3% viscose, 2% spandex – because math makes blankets cozier, obviously.

• One-Sided Print: The other side? Mystery. The front? Pure comedic genius.

• Black Trim, Because Drama: Durable and aesthetic, like eyeliner but less smudgy.

• Water-Absorbent: For spills, thrills, and accidentally tear-jerking dog documentaries.

• Multifunctional: Perfect for couches, beaches, beds, forts, existential crises.

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold (like your heart when someone cancels plans last-minute)

• Tumble dry low (because high heat is for rookies)

• Iron, steam or dry on low heat (if you must)

• Non-chlorine bleach only (because fashion crimes happen)

• Dry-clean if you’re feeling fancy

Size Guide:

• 50″ × 60″ – Ideal for burrito-ing on the couch

• 50″ × 40″ – Just enough coverage to ward off life’s nonsense

• 60″ × 50″ – Great for sharing (but we know you won’t)

• 40″ × 50″ – Small, mighty, and emotionally supportive

Pro Tip: Always keep it within arm’s reach. You never know when you’ll spot a dog, cancel plans, or dramatically pretend to faint from minor inconveniences. A good blanket is your co-star in this sitcom called life.

#SnuggleLikeYouMeanIt, #BlanketExcuses101, #PolyesterPowerNap, #TooSoftToFunction, #DogSawBlanketApproved